Our emotions are an integral part of who we are. All the talk about being positive all of the time is doing more harm than good. We all need to acknowledge our feelings and emotions first and then move forward to make constructive changes for our mental health. The first thing you need to realize is that your life is yours more than anyone else’s, you call the shots. Yes external environment does matter but in the end it is you who needs to decide if something is important enough to affect you.
Think of it like owning a car, you are the owner of your life, just like your car. Just like you can steer the wheel around for the direction you want to go to, you can decide which direction you want to steer your attention towards or away from. This is your life, your story and you have all the right and power to decide what & who is important enough to make an impact.
Once you realize this, you will find that nothing and no one can bring you down without your own consent. To get you started below are 5 hacks to help you do just that.
# 1 Filter what/who enters your bubble-
Create a bubble around yourself. Sort out the people, things and experiences that you love, that make you feel happy & alive and stick to them. Include more things and activities that make you feel calm and peaceful. There are so many things happening in the world at the same time, we cannot register or process all of it, neither do we need to do so. Make an effort towards directing your attention towards what feels good. Eg — you cannot control the mean behavior of your colleague or rude behavior of an acquaintance but you can decide not to get affected by it. Direct you attention towards something that you like in that moment or better still cut the conversation short politely and continue with your day.
# 2 Be Kind to yourself
We often chase the idea of perfection so much that we end up forgetting that we are human. And it is human to make mistakes and learn from them. Let go of the past and focus on the future. We all have the scope to change and grow as long as we are alive. If you have regrets try to rectify your past behavior or mistakes, if you can’t let it go. Tell yourself that you are a different person now, and now you know better than to repeat that. Give yourself a chance; there is no timeline for self rectification.
#3. Accept what is, and continue with the self love
No matter how beautiful, thin, rich or glorious you are, not everyone is going to see that. In life some people will love you, some will hate you and most of the time it will have absolutely nothing to do with you. You cannot control why some people are not fond of you, all you can do is be nice and accept that it is their opinion and not your reality. Whenever the harsh world tries to knock you down with their dime a dozen opinions, remind your- self of your worth and how much you love yourself for coming this far. Be your biggest supporter and learn to clap for your own accomplishments no matter how small.
# 4. Take a Break
The world existed before you and it will continue to exist after you are gone. Nothing will come to an end or fall to pieces if you took a break. As we grow older and get more and more responsibilities to take care of, it often gets difficult to hit the pause button. Sometimes it is essential to our very existence to pause and take a break. Do the things you love to do, that make you happy. You don’t even have to be good at them; you are not trying to prove anything here. Do things just for the thrill and joy of it all. Go for a swim, cuddle with your dog, dance to your favorite song. Give yourself the time and effort, learn to unwind. After all we were not born to just work, , pay bills, carry the burden of endless responsibilities and die. Give yourself the permission to enjoy the simple joys in life, let them fill your soul.
# 5 Be your own ray of sunshine
Perhaps one of our biggest mistakes in life is expecting others to make us happy. No one knows us as well as we know ourselves. We know what makes us happy, what sets our soul on fire. No one else is responsible for finding our happiness. The very key to this treasure has been in our own hands all along. It is the world that has convinced us otherwise. We have everything we need, all we need to do is choose. Don’t wait to have a perfect job, a perfect partner, perfect kids or a perfect anything to be happy. Decide to be happy in the moment, with who you are and then do what it is that you want. Do not wait for something to happen, to be happy.
Tanya Chopra
